Jennifer can’t believe it. Just married and pregnant, she discovers that her husband has been meeting Brad for sex. When confronted, Tom doesn’t deny it, but he insists it’s just “a thing” and he isn’t gay. Elsewhere, John’s wife, Karen, discovers that her husband likes to watch gay porn. John doesn’t understand his wife’s reaction. Why does she care what he watches if he’s not unfaithful? In couple’s therapy, Karen and Jennifer raise the same questions: Does this mean my husband is gay?

Would the small gay boy you once were look up to the gay man you have become in your relationships? This is the question Joe Kort will help you answer in this book based on his widely successful first book, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives. In that book Dr. Kort helps gay men develop a healthy, affirming relationship with their gay identity, and in this book he continues the conversation by exploring the topics of love and intimacy. Most people think that you cannot enjoy a satisfying relationship until you first get yourself healthy. Dr. Kort disagrees. Dating and getting into relationships are what help make you healthy. Relationships bring up the unfinished business from your past, both as children and as adults in relationships. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love explores your relationship to yourself as a man and how that was impacted by the negative messages given to gay children about not being the "right" type of male. You will also discover how your relationship with your mother and father impacts your success in finding love and how, in fact, you are drawn to familiar love. Not knowing this information can lead you to walk away from the relationship of your dreams.

Dr. Joe’s revised first book is finally ready for purchase at amazon.com or through his office for a personalized autographed copy. 

This book has been updated and revised and includes a new chapter on sexual health of gay men which replaces the chapter on sexual addiction. The old Chapter 5, “Avoid or Overcome Sexual Addiction,” has been replaced by “Explore Erotic Turn-ons and Sexual Interests.” This change in titles alone illustrates clearly enough a transformation from sex-negative to healthy sex-positive thinking. 

It’s been 13 years since the first edition of 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives  was published. That doesn’t seem like a long time, but a lot has happened. In 2003, there were no signs that gay marriage was ever going to be legal. The gay men that appeared on TV and in movies were just beginning to be more than caricatures, villains, or clowns. There were no gay apps or social media. Gay men still mostly chose to segregate themselves in their own bars, baths, community centers, and gayborhoods, and the straight people seemed to prefer it that way. A gay guy thought long and hard before coming out at work, at church, or (especially) at school.

The world has changed in many ways since 2003, and my thoughts and perspectives have evolved since then, too. I’ve revised 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives  to better reflect what we’re dealing with today.

Sneak preview into "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives"