10 Smart Things
Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives
Would the small gay boy you once were look up to the gay man you’ve become? This is the question Dr. Joe Kort explores in 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives (completely revised and updated second edition) as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a fully self-actualized gay man.
Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship. Understand how to deal with loved ones who disapprove of your being gay. Overcome damaging patterns that are holding you back from enjoying a healthy sex life. Learn how to identify your own internalized homophobia, a chronic issue that prevents many gay men from leading satisfying lives and keeps them from having healthy relationships.
After coming out, a gay man will typically feel better at first, but often the good feelings don’t last. This is because “coming out” is only part of the beginning of the journey. This book provides a map for navigating the whole long passage of becoming the gay man you want to be.
Preface to the Revised and Updated Edition
Introduction: What Works and What Doesn’t
Chapter 1: Take Responsibility for Your Own Life
Chapter 2: Affirm Yourself by Coming Out
Chapter 3: Resolve Issues with Your Family
Chapter 4: Graduate from Eternal Adolescence
Chapter 5: Explore Erotic Turn-ons and Sexual Interests
Chapter 6: Learn From Mentors, Then Become One
Chapter 7: Take Advantage of Therapy “Workouts”
Chapter 8: Maintain Rewarding Relationships
Chapter 9: Understand the Stages of Love
Chapter 10: Commit to a Partner
If you’re new to the scene, came out later in life, or recently came out, this book could be helpful.
If you’ve read The Velvet Rage and you’re in Stage 1, this book is helpful.
If you’ve read The Velvet Rage and you’re confidently past stage 1, this isn’t the book for you.
If you haven’t read The Velvet Rage, stop considering this book and go read The Velvet Rage.
At first I dismissed this book as just another phoney self help book, but I was at such a major crossroad of my life with meaningless sex aplenty, no stable relationships, internal homophobia that I decided to take a chance and buy this book, and what a revelatory book this turned out to be.
I have learnt so much about overcoming my internal homophobia, and lessons and advice to forming long lasting gay relationships. Dr Joe Kort writes passionately from an objective point of view and with a spirit and desire of seeing all gays live fulfilling and accomplished lives free of unnecessary emotional baggage. Set aside the hook up apps for a while guys and invest in this gem of a book.
This book is a must read. It’s eye opening and heart warming at times thanks to Dr Joe Kurt’s passion and experience as an LGBT therapist. True to its title, it really does give solid advice on how any gay man can improve his life. My favourite parts are the real life examples Joe gives to illustrate his key points. This brings the advice to life and provides a deeper understanding. This book has improved my life just from reading it.
Definitely gave a different view of things, I’d recommend this book to anyone who’s either recently come out, experiencing troubles in a relationship or wants a relationship as it gives a different perspective.