With the holidays approaching, my clients talk about how they dread the further trauma of going home to their families and not being able to—or feeling able to—be out and open with them about being gay. They call it depression, but I say trauma because it better expresses something emotionally charged and distressing that happens, leaving [...]
A Book Review on The Truth About Love Jerry and Linda came to me to help them with their marital problems. He felt that she had tricked him into marrying her by “pretending” to have a high sex drive, and believed that Linda was now withholding sex in an effort to punish him for problems in [...]
When you look across a crowded room and spot that hot guy, you may think you’ve found the man of your dreams. Usually, it is lust that you are feeling—a purely sexual sensation, until you start to talk to him and get to know him. And suddenly you fall into romantic love. Our society focuses primarily [...]
This month has been all about reactivity and defensive styles that get in the way of people relating to others in relationships either with family, friends, colleagues and romantic partners. I am publishing an excerpt from my book on the Intentional Dialogue which helps people, couples particularly, learn how to have a dialogue in the face [...]
I’d like to say more about the Turtle and the Hailstorm in terms of why and how these two types meet up, and how they need each other to form a relationship. Turtles are the partners who use minimizing as a defense to protect themselves from emotions that feel unsafe or extremely uncomfortable. Their goal is [...]
Relationships take on many forms for couples, families, friends, co-workers, parents, and children. This month I want to focus on two common types of people in these relationships; theturtle and the hailstorm . This is a fictional story originated by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. creator of Imago Relationship Therapy. Some people say that in some relationships [...]
I’ve wanted to write an article on this topic ever since I began working with a gay male couple who told me that they were monogamous. After several months, however, they informed me they had had a three-way. When I asked if they had changed from monogamy, they said, “No.” I was confused. Maybe I hadn’t [...]
Here are the lyrics from the song Everything Possible , written by Fred Small in 1983 for the children of lesbians and gays. It is very well done and can be sung to any child. I wish someone had sung it to me! More info in PDF
When I saw this saying embroidered on a pillow, I bought it to display in the office where I do my relationship workshops, because it reminded me of statements that clients and workshop participants have made to me over the years. They usually ask me why they cannot find Mr. or Ms. Right and why they [...]
ROYAL OAK - Passion is rarely subject to reason. Deciding whether to let go of a seemingly troubled relationship is an emotion-laden decision that cries out for a logic-based solution. One area social worker hopes to give lgbts some tools to help them examine whether their decision is based on unresolved past emotions or a clear-headed [...]