A recent survey asked San Francisco gay men whether they were born gay. Eleven percent of the men felt they were born gay, while the remaining 89% claimed they were “sucked” into it! That joke is funny only because it’s absurd! Absurd as the idea that anyone can change from a gay to a straight orientation, [...]

I like to get a sense of new clients’ family backgrounds. In the first few weeks, I ask for data—the facts about who is who, what things happened to them in their childhood, and how they happened. We have not said one negative thing about their families, yet clients start getting anxious: “Are you going to [...]

Hooking up or Something More? You meet a great guy and sparks fly. Then you don’t hear from him for a bit, until—boom! Round two! Suddenly you’re in a pattern of hooking up regularly, and you like him enough to hope it means you’re dating. But infatuation and sexual attraction can play [...]

Sigmund Freud first identified the psychological process of transference and brought it into what is now modern day psychotherapy. He noticed that people had strong feelings and fantasies about him that had no basis in reality between him and the client. In fact, transference is actually something that happens in life—and not just psychotherapy. Harville Hendrix, [...]

Dust Bunnies in Your Closet Recently, a high school in Troy, Michigan made the news when the Detroit area Lesbian and Gay Community Center created a sign depicting people from all walks of life, with the heading, “Gays and Lesbians are Everyday People.” Some parents wanted it taken down because it “promotes [...]

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of relationship therapy innovated by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Dr. Hendrix was author of the two Best Sellers "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples," and "Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles." It integrates and extends the insights of the major western psychological systems, behavioral [...]

This document is designed to help you get the most benefit from our work together. It deals with how to prepare for and maximize the value of our sessions and summarizes some brief concepts about relationships and productive couple’s therapy. Your job is to create your own individual objectives for being in therapy. Like a good [...]

How - Husbands Out to Their Wives Note: This group is not affiliated with Joe Kort & Associates. The information given on this page is from this group. HOW is an international on-line support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward [...]

Of all the relationships that we will encounter in our lifetime, our family ties are usually the most intense, tightly organized and consist of the strongest loyalties. We want to stay connected to our families and so we nurture and protect these relationships. There is comfort and a feeling of safety in having a history with [...]

In the talks I give around the country, audiences often ask me about what being gay or straight really is. Most people believe that if you engage in—or even think about—certain homosexual sex acts, then that reveals your basic sexual orientation of being gay. Interestingly, the opposite is not true. If a gay or lesbian person [...]