Why Bullying Stays in Your Body

What happens when childhood bullying ends, but your body still acts like you’re under threat?

In this episode of Smart Sex, Smart Love, Dr. Joe Kort sits down with award-winning sociologist and author Dr. Trevor Hoppe to explore the long-lasting effects of childhood bullying — not only on our mental health, but on our bodies, relationships, and sense of self.

Dr. Hoppe introduces the idea of “embodied vigilance”: the ways repeated bullying and childhood trauma can leave the body stuck in a state of protection long after the danger has passed. Drawing from his ongoing research and his own experience of being bullied as a child, Trevor explains why something that happened in middle school can still affect us decades later.

Joe also shares his own experiences with severe childhood bullying, including what happened when he confronted some of his former bullies as an adult.

Together, Joe and Trevor discuss who is most vulnerable to bullying, why gender and sexuality are so often policed by peers and institutions, whether fighting back actually helps, and the different ways kids learn to survive — from making themselves invisible to embracing the very qualities they’re being targeted for.

Most importantly, they explore something surprisingly powerful: the difference one supportive adult can make in the life of a bullied child.

Dr. Trevor Hoppe is an Associate Professor of Sociology, Criminology & Justice Studies at UNC Greensboro. His work explores sexuality, public health, consent, stigma, and the law.