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Did John Gottman really just slut shame America?

The high-profile and research-based marital therapist, John Gottman, recently wrote an open letter labeling porn a threat to couples' intimacy as a follow up to Time Magazine's cover story, “Porn and the Threat to Virility.”

His words caught my attention because I distinctly remember that in 2003, following his 12-year study on gay and lesbian couples, Dr. Gottman made the ground-breaking statement that heterosexual couples have much to learn from the strength of homosexual relationships.

"Gay and lesbian couples," Gottman said, "Are a lot more mature, more considerate in trying to improve a relationship, and have a greater awareness of equality in a relationship than straight couples."

He continued, "Straight couples start a conflict discussion in a much more negative place than do gays and lesbian couples. Homosexuals start the same kind of discussions with more humor and affection, are less domineering and show considerably more positive emotions than heterosexual couples."

Given his prior statements, I find it odd his open letter leaves out any reference to the way that gay and lesbian couples view porn, when fact of the matter is — the vast majority of gay men and lesbians do not experience porn as a problem in their relationships.

Most, if not all, of these discussions on porn as a public health crisis and “addiction” are truly heterosexist.

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