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Drugs and alcohol are part of our American culture.
Their use is rampant among gay men, since the bars
are a main social outlet. The anxiety of walking
into a gay bar and hoping to meet Mr. Right, or even
make friends, can be excruciating. Alcohol and drugs
can help to ease that anxiety.
Crystal meth has been in the gay community for a
while and has hit Michigan big over the past year.
If I can speak in my Jewish Mother voice I would say
that any use of crystal meth is going too far. But
in my professional understanding of the gay culture,
I know the reality is that gay men use it. So, how
much use is going too far?
Clients often ask me what level of drug or alcohol
use points to an addiction, compared to mere
recreational social use. Is it an addiction to use
crystal meth only on the weekends? Is it
recreational to drink until I get drunk—once a week?
If I use drugs or alcohol only to socialize, does
that make me an abuser?
People often believe they’re not addicted if they
don’t crave the drug or alcohol, or if they’re not
suffering withdrawal symptoms when they try to quit.
They don’t realize that those symptoms affect only a
small percentage of users at the later stages of
severe addiction. Most people with drug and alcohol
problems, even some chronic alcoholics and drug
abusers, do not experience cravings or withdrawal
symptoms.
Based on the Chemical Dependency model, there are
three general types of drug and alcohol users—
Recreational, Abusive, and Addictive, based on the
following criteria:
1) Recreational Users drink or use drugs only on
“special occasions.” These individuals can control
their use and can start and stop whenever they
choose. They can predict in advance how much they
will drink or use and seldom suffer any negative
consequences. They never get ticketed for driving
under the influence (DUI) and don’t experience
blackouts.
(Blackouts are different from passing out. A
blackout is any period of time, whether it be five
minutes to five hours, that you cannot recall, no
matter how much you try. You can’t remember what
others report you said and did while under the
influence.)
Drug or alcohol use doesn’t interfere with their
lives in any way. It simply enhances their social
lives and is used in good fun.
2) Abusive Users also drink or use drugs
recreationally, can control their intake, and can
start and stop when they choose. For the most part,
they can predict how much they will consume. But at
times, these individuals’ use is out of control.
They cannot predict the results and suffer negative
consequences such as DUI citations (or if not given
a ticket, being stopped for poor driving),
blackouts, verbal and physical fights with family,
friends or partners, and risking sexually
transmitted diseases—to name a few.
But abusers will take these negative consequences as
a wake-up call. To avoid the negative consequences,
they either reduce their intake permanently or stop
altogether. They may experience one or two further
negative experiences from their abusive use of drugs
or alcohol, decide never to indulge to that degree
again—and they don’t. They take responsibility and
are accountable for the consequences of their own
use and resolve them immediately.
3) Addictive Users drink or use drugs recreationally
too, but aren’t in control. When they experience a
negative consequence they might stop for a while but
not for long. Ultimately they return to their former
amount and frequency and may even use more over
time. They cannot predict how much they use or how
often they use it and their negative consequences
become abundant. The definition of addiction is any
behavior or activity that interferes with your life
in some way, but which you continue to do despite
the negative consequences.
Unlike the abuser, the addict suffers many more
negative consequences such as blackouts, DUI’s, and
risks STD’s. Typically they will blame others for
their own mishaps, complaining that “Michigan’s
driving laws are too strict,” or “My friends and
family complain too much.” They often truly believe
their own excuses and will say, “I can stop whenever
I want. I just don’t want to.”
If you’ve been experiencing loss of control, failed
in your attempts to stop or cut down, increased your
tolerance whereby you’re using more to achieve the
same high as before, and continue to use in spite of
negative consequences, then you have an addiction. I
highly recommend you seek professional help
immediately or attend an AA or NA meeting. For more
information on where to find these groups call
Affirmations at 248-398-7105. For more information
on Crystal Meth go to www.tweaker.org.
