>>
Download in PDF
Originally published
in “In the Family” magazine Fall, 2003
Q: I've heard therapists say that a
male adult who sexually abuses a boy isn't necessarily
‘homosexual.' This seems confusing: If he isn't
homosexual, then why would he sexually molest boys,
instead of girls?
This is a very good question, and
there are several ways to respond to it. First, we need
to clarify our definitions. When discussing sexual abuse
and molestation of children, there's often conflict over
terminology. One frequently quoted researchers on the
topic of homosexuality and child molestation,
Gregory Herek, a research psychologist at the University
of California, defines pedophilia as "a
psychosexual disorder characterized by a preference for
prepubescent children as sexual partners, which may or
may not be acted upon." He defines child sexual
abuse as "actual sexual contact between an adult and
someone who has not reached the legal age of consent."
Not all pedophiles actually molest children, he points
out. A pedophile may be attracted to children, but never
actually engage in sexual contact with them. Quite
often, pedophiles never develop a sexual orientation
toward other adults.
Herek points out that child
molestation and child sexual abuse refer to "actions,"
without implying any "particular psychological makeup or
motive on the part of the perpetrator." In other words,
not all incidents of child sexual abuse are perpetrated
by pedophiles. Pedophilia can be viewed as a kind of
sexual fetish, wherein the person requires the mental
image of a child--not necessarily a flesh-and-blood
child--to achieve sexual gratification. Rarely does a
pedophile experience sexual desire for adults of either
gender. They usually don't identify as homosexual–the
majority identify as heterosexual, even those who abuse
children of the same gender They are sexually aroused by
youth, not by gender. In contrast, child molesters often
exert power and control over children in an effort to
dominate them. They do experience sexual desire for
adults, but molest children episodically, for reasons
apart from sexual desire, much as rapists enjoy power,
violence and controlling their humiliated victims.
Indeed, research supports that a child molester isn't
any more likely to be homosexual than heterosexual.
In fact, some research shows that
for pedophiles, the gender of the child is immaterial.
Accessibility is more the factor in who a pedophile
abuses. This may explain the high incidence of children
molested in church communities and fraternal
organizations, where the pedophile may more easily have
access to children. In these situations, an adult male
is trusted by those around him, including children and
their families. Males are often given access to boys to
mentor, teach, coach and advise. Therefore, a male
pedophile may have easier access to a male child. In
trying to make sense of an adult male's sexually abusing
a male child, many of us mislabel it as an act of
homosexuality, which it isn't.
Feminists have argued for years
that rape is not a sex act–it is an act of violence
using sex as a weapon. In the same way, a pedophile
abusing a child of the same sex is not perpetrating a
homosexual act, but an act of violence and exploitation
using sexuality. There is a world of difference between
these two things, but it requires a subtle understanding
of the inner motivation of the abuser.
To call child molestation of a boy
by a man "homosexual” or of a girl by a man
"heterosexual" is to misunderstand pedophilia. No true
pedophile is attracted to adults, so neither
homosexuality nor heterosexuality applies. Accordingly,
Herek suggests calling men's sexual abuse of boys
"male-male molestation" and men's abuse of girls,
"male-female molestation."
Interestingly, Anna C. Salter
writes, in “Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists and other Sex
Offenders”, that when a man molests little girls, we
call him a "pedophile" and not a "heterosexual." Of
course, when a man molests little boys, people say
outright, or mutter under their breath, "homosexual.
Herek writes that because of our society's aversion to
male homosexuality, and the attempts made by some to
represent gay men as a danger to "family values," many
in our society immediately think of male-male
molestation as homosexuality. He compares this with the
time when African Americans were often falsely accused
of raping white women, and when medieval Jews were
accused of murdering Christian babies in ritual
sacrifices. Both are examples of how mainstream society
eagerly jumped to conclusions to that justified
discrimination and violence against these minorities.
Today, gays face the same kind of prejudice. Most
recently, we've seen gay men unfairly turned out of the
Boy Scouts of America on the basis of this myth that gay
men are likely to be child molesters. Keeping gays out
of scouting won't protect boys from pedophiles.
In reality, abuse of boys by gay
pedophiles is rare, and the abuse of girls by lesbians
is rarer still. Nicholas Groth is a noted authority on
this topic. In a 1982 study by Grot, he asks, "Are
homosexual adults in general sexually attracted to
children, and are pre-adolescent children at greater
risk of molestation from homosexual adults than from
heterosexual adults? There is no reason to believe so.
The research to date all points to there being no
significant relationship between a homosexual lifestyle
and child molestation. There appears to be practically
no reportage of sexual molestation of girls by lesbian
adults, and the adult male who sexually molests young
boys is not likely to be homosexual." Herek writes,
similarly, that abuse of boys by gay men is rare; and
that the abuse of girls by lesbians is rarer still.
The topic of female-female
molestation continues to be largely ignored. There are
few books on female sex offenders, particularly about
mothers sexually abusing their daughters. I can find no
books on mothers who sexually abuse their sons. There is
one handbook by Hani Miletski, M.S.W., entitled,
“Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Taboo.” Unthinkable
is an appropriate word—so much so that there is nothing
else in the literature on this topic, even though female
pedophiles and female child molesters certainly exist.
We know so much more than we did
historically and yet have a long way to go. We can
understand child sexual abuse further when people's bias
and prejudice are removed and the evidence is empirical
and scientific.
